all i want for christmas.

the holidays are always a good/bad time of year.  personally, i LOVE this season, despite the fact that my mom pretty much hates the holidays and has been sort of a scrooge since i was in high school.  however, i do my best to make it merry every year, by insisting on family time, decorations and home-cooked food.  it usually works out, but there is almost always one point every year where mom ends up locking herself in her room and/or getting pissed at the entire family for some reason.  thankfully with liam around, she's less inclined to be so dramatic so that the poor kid can enjoy his first few christmases.

now, J seems to be on the same page as my mom in regards to the holiday season.  he'd be content to work like it was a normal day and forego any family time, celebrations or festivities.  however... the holidays are special to me.

when most girls are young, they dream of their wedding day and all the amazing things and special moments encompassed by the event.  but, when i was little, i always dreamed of holidays with my family, including husband and children.  i don't know why, but that image means a lot to me.  once i found J, i was excited at the prospect of making the dream come true.

last year, we'd only been together about 2 months at christmas.  it wasn't a huge deal, but it was the first exchange of gifts for us.  i spent two weeks in virginia with my family and J stayed here, where he worked and bummed around.  i think he was pretty happy with the arrangment.

this year, however...

J is privy to christmas with my family!  i'll be home for 12 days, and he'll join us for 3 of those days.  the decision wasn't the problem, but the timing of everything was.  that, and J made it clear on several occasions how he was only taking part in the plan for me.  which, i will admit, is very nice, but... is it so much to ask for a little holiday spirit?

in the end, after a long conversation, i think J realized that how much this meant to me.  because truly, all i want for christmas IS him.  no matter the drama, no matter casseroles and awkward gift giving... it's about being with who you love and making a memory.  and that, we will do.